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May 28, 2004

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aaron haffen

Dubya's 99 Problems - (done in white-face with a Glock in each hand)

If you're havin' human rights problems i feel bad for you son
I got 99 problems but Iraq ain't one

I got the Neo-Con patrol on the spin patrol
Foes that wanna make sure my casket's closed
Democrat critics that say he's "Big Oil Hoes"
I'm from blueblood's stupid, what type of facts are those
If you grew up with cholo's in ya Zapato Oil
You'd celebrate the minute you was havin' dough
I'm like fuck critics you can kiss my whole asshole
If you don't like my lyrics you can move to Central
Got beef with radio if they don't play my show
They don't play my spit well i'll censor their shit so
Pop rags try and use my lily-white ass
So advertisers can give 'em more cash for ads...fuckers
I don't know what you take me as
or understand the intelligence that Dubya has
I'm from profiteers to riches niggas i ain't dumb
I got 99 problems but Iraq ain't one
Hit me

If you're havin' human rights problems i feel bad for you son
I got 99 problems but Iraq ain't one

The year is '76 and my trunk is raw
In my rear view mirror is the mother fuckin' law
I got two choices y'all pull over the car or (hmmm)
Bounce on the devil put the pedal to the floor
Now i ain't tryin' to see no highway chase with jake
Plus i got a few million dollars i can fight the case
So i...pull over to the side of the road
And i heard "Son do you know what i'm stoppin' you for?"
Cause i'm young and i'm white and my bottle's on the floor
Do i look like a mind reader sir, i don't know
Am i under arrest or should i guess some mo'?
"Well you was doin seventy-five in a fifty-four"
"License and registration and step out of the car"
"Are you carryin' a Bible on you i know alot of you are"
I ain't steppin out of shit all my papers legit
"Do you mind if i look round the car a little bit?"
Well my glove compartment is locked so is the trunk and the back
And i know my rights so you gon' need a warrant for that
"Aren't you sharp as a tack, are some type of lawyer sport?"
"Or somebody important in Kennibunkport?"
Nah i ain't pass the bar but i know a little bit
Enough that you won't illegally search the rich
"We'll see how smart you are when the D.A. come"
I got 99 problems but Iraq ain't one
Hit me

If you're havin' human rights problems i feel bad for you son
I got 99 problems but Iraq ain't one

Now once upon a time not too long ago
A preppie like myself had to strong arm the fools
This is not the fools in the sense of havin' money
But fools havin' no God damn sense, try and push me
I tried to ignore 'em and talk to the Lord
Pray for 'em, cause some fools just love to perform
You know the type rich as Mouton Crue
But wouldn't bust a mil in a energy rule
The only thing that's gonna happen is i'mma sell the Rangers
I think when it's all said and done, stranger
I've made more money than I ever dreamed of, there
Back through the system with the riff-raff again
Fiends on the Death Row scratchin' again
Paparazzis with they cameras snappin' them
Background tried to give the preppie shaft again
Fifteen-mil to bail cause i'm a Bush son
All because this fool was harrassin' them
Tryin' to play the boy like he's saccharin'
But ain't nothin' sweet 'bout how i spit my fun
I got 99 problems, bein' a Bush ain't one
Hit me

If you're havin' human rights problems i feel bad for you son
I got 99 problems but Iraq ain't one

http://www.austinchronicle.com/issues/vol17/issue19/pols.bush.html

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